I Miss You
by triple baka
Summary: Cronus reflects on how much he misses Kankri, and thinks back to when he was alive. One Shot, Sadstuck. Might continue if asked


You sigh deeply, looking out to the water in front of you. The sun is only now beginning to set, yet you feel truly and utterly alone for the first time in what feels like sweeps.

Well, perhaps it had been sweeps.

When was the last time you had been alone again? When was the last time you had woken up without the familiar warm body laying beside you? When was the last time you woke up without him in your arms?

It must have been sweeps. Sweeps upon sweeps must have led you to this aching feeling of loss you felt bubbling in your chest. You almost feel sick- you've never felt so truly and utterly alone.

You watch the sun go down a bit further, the air around you windless and hot. You rub at your now vacant eyes, and you look down at the shining water. It's almost a bit hard to believe everything you're seeing came from your own memories. That nothing around you is real. That you're alone in a world of anything you could ever imagine.

It's hard for a guy like you, but you'll never admit that.

You sigh again and start to rise to your feet. Time to go to sleep. Well, even you know that you don't need it where you are now, it feels a bit nice to have some kind of routine. Even though you aren't really asleep and you aren't really dreaming, you can always pretend you're dreaming of him.

You close your eyes, letting memories of the both of you fill your mind. You let the softest smile rise to your face, a sense of happiness and longing bubbling in your chest. You remember a picnic you had gone on with him, right when you two had met. He was lecturing you about something or another, but you didn't really care. You just remember watching how passionate he was when he spoke, and just how happy he looked when you had told him you'd try harder at being a better troll.

His smile… That makes you open your eyes. It's too hard to remember right now. But it's all around you- you swear you can see his smiling face all over your dreamed up hive, you swear it feels as if he's only inches away from you.

But he's not. And you know it. And you know deep in your heart he never be with you again.

You close your eyes again, settling back into the pillow and letting your mind drift off again. You think back to the hundreds of dates and smiling moment you two had shared over the countless sweeps you had pitied him.

But thinking back, you wonder if you ever actually told him how flushed you were. You know that he knew of course, with all of the kissing and hugging you two had done. But you can't think back to any one moment where you actually told him how much he meant to you and how much you human loved the insufferable prick.

The sun finally sets in the distance, and your room is now filled with the richest moonlight; the light creates the most intricate shadows along your walls and floor, making you feel as if you were trapped in a world bigger than your own. You sigh, knowing that isn't true. Nothing is bigger than the imagination of a man who had lost everything.

Man. Not troll. You'd argue that with him until the end of time itself. And he knew it. You chuckle dryly in the back of your throat as you remember the countless conversations you had partaken in with him, first explaining that yes, you were not a troll, but a human. It took so long to convince him that you were different… but he eventually came around. He even supported you sometimes.

You think you liked the times when he held your hand and whispered to you the best. Comforting words echoed throughout the room, his voice just beyond your reach. But you smile a bit, loving how comforting he was and how he had accepted you when no one else had.

You sighed and looked up at the shadows on the ceiling above you. It was hard to sleep at night, especially when you had slept during the day for your entire life. But… you felt it sort of sealed the deal. That by sleeping like a human you were one. Kankri accepted you, but insisted you kept your "normal" sleep cycle just to protect your health.

You wish you could thank him for caring so much about you and tell him everything you couldn't while you were alive. You wish someone could just tear you from this terrible place and bring you to where the love of your miserable life was.

It haunts you to think about it. To think of him alone, just like you are. You know he's dead, of course- the bomb killed everyone. But… you really wish he wasn't. You wish he was able to live on and complete your session and _make it_.

But you know he didn't. You just… know.

You sigh, too restless once again to attempt to fake your sleep any longer. You slowly move to your window, and look out to the water once more.

You can't help but think of him once more. How he refused to swim because he'd be so exposed. You remember the first time you got him to swim and how much fun the two of you had, acting like wrigglers as you splashed around and enjoyed each other's company. You remember the way he had fallen asleep on your shoulder when you had brought him into your hive- you remember how nervous he was in the morning and how you had to reassure him in the morning you hadn't tried anything with his sleeping form.

Remembering makes you too sad, you decide. You have lost count of how long you've been trapped in this bubble; how long you've lived without him. You really miss him, and you know that this is destroying everything that had made you, well, you. The only thing keeping you from totally breaking is the small hope you've been keeping that maybe, one day, your bubbles will collide- that you can finally reunite with him, that you can kiss him and hold him and tell him just how much you love him. Pity him.

But as the nearly scolding hot air blows through your open window, you doubt you'll ever get the chance.


End file.
